day 32. tuesday. today was my last audition for any summer gig….and i didn’t get a callback. looks like im staying in good old bay shore for the summer. hazaaaa. dont get my wrong, i have no problem with that. i just would’ve loved to have gone somewhere new. in celebration, i ate two crispy ranch snack wraps from the McD’s in Penn Station, then had a mini frozen pizza at home, then literally slept for the rest of the day. i forgot that it was acutally passover, woke up at 7 (i believe i slept from 2-3, then like 4-7), and had a mini passover seder with my family. then to the diner with mike to meet up with cara and matt, and we had milkshakes…..cause we’re cute. cara and matt went to matt’s house, and i stayed in mikes car. we picked up kiera and parked in the marina and had one of those intense conversations about life and all that fun stuff. and it was both beautiful and just nice to hear. plus it was nice to be with people i havent seen in a while.
day 33. wednesday. today i finally finished “ivanov” and started looking at my scene, which i should have memorized by tuesday. YIKES. the day started off promising that i’d actually get stuff done, but i fell asleep from 3-5, then i honest-to-god did not have the energy to get up from the couch. but i did work out a wee bit earlier today =D i drove marc to the train station barefoot and in my pajamas. later, after i picked my mom up from work, we watched the end of doubt (soooo good), then she helped me with scenework (warning: that sounds pretenious, but shes an acting teacher….sooooooo suck it?). of course i should be actually read the rest of the malarchy i need to get done, but im too busy blogging about my life =D
today i actually got stuff done. whatTTT???? i read thru my childrens theatre scrip and i read more of “wayward puritans” for my sociolofy class. i worked on my songs for my audition tomorrow, AND i went to danas zumba class at 8:30 with me madre. that made me sweat like a ho, but it was super fun. my parents adn i watched an interview with lady gaga on fuse. and i have come to the conclusion that she is both insane and a genius at the same time, much like einstein, but with a better body. now im about to curl my hair for tomorrows audition. nothing like a 6:03 train. hazaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
its oonly 11:55 but i figured id get used to posting these asap so i dont forget. at 11:00, me and the other girlfriends in company ichatted, in an attempt to sing “drive a person crazy” together and fix our harmonies. the first 4 times something happened, my brothers computer (the only mac in house) like farted, we couldnt hear each other, and yadda yadda yadda.
finally we got it to work, but we were all on like a 2 second sound delay and we all sang really slowly, so a song that is usually about 3 minutes took about 10 minutes hahahaha.
im stuck at home today because mom took the car. so now i have to get started on my stupid readings for my stupid classes. when my soc teacher assigned readings for spring break we all looked shocked, and she thought that we were insane and that allll teachers give out work. nooo they dont. ughhh
aight. hopefully someone will come over and entertain me.
day 28. friday. out last company rehearsal before spring break and we freakin worked that shit. we filmed some of the stuff and it looked and sounded amazing. we went to applebees afterwards which was super cute, and then drank vodka and watched glee. i went back to my room and danced around the room naked for a good 20 seconds after i turned on the tv and turned off the lights and some weird music was on. it was actually the bes thing ever.
day 29. saturday. gahh! spring break. i went back home. i picked up cc and since she didnt want to go home we went to the mall. then we went to nicoles. and then back to cc’s for vodka and a lovely screening of our version of “FAME.” the dvd looked super good and we all were pretty impressed by how fucking rad the show came out. we had a mini piano sing-a-long party which is always fun, and always necessary.
day 30. sunday. woke up at 1:30 and my mother had no idea how a person could sleep in that late. i went on my laptop to go on the internet, but alas my wireless isnt working becasue my laptop is a piece of shit. its been getting all these viruses lately so my dads taking it in tomorrow to get it fixed, so now i have to back up everything onto a harddrive. i went to victoria’s secret today to get bras and panties and dana gave me bra advice via text, since the actual women who worked there didn’t help at all. came home and watched raul esparza sing “deying gravity” which was amazing, brian stokes mitchell sing “through heavens eyes,” and “stars,” which was also amazing, and some videos of raul eparza in CABARET, which was uber amazing. i’m about to watch “THIS IS IT” with my parents. g’night loves =D
day 26. wednesday. as written earlier, my ass was up at 4am, and it was windy as all hell. i made the 6:30 train and i got in around 7:09. i found the actor’s equity building and waited. the woman behind the desk said that she wasnt definite if they’d see us, but its definitely possible since it is a dance call. the audition was supposed to start at 9:30. at 9:00 they announced they wouldn’t be seeing no-equity. ooof. i had missed another sociolofy class for that. i was gonna run to another audition but it wouldve been to late and i need to get back on campus. did i mention theres no bathroom for non-equity at the AEA builind? yea. you have to go around the corner to the mcdonalds to pee.
in intro the film we watched “slaker” and i fell asleep. that movie jusssst did not do it for me.
we had our first full run-thru for company. it was pretty good! after i got an oreo shake and a plain bagel with cream cheese (dont eat at the same time, you’re stomach will hate you), and then we all went to cabaret together. alexa and i got up and actually gave an announcement for the show =D
day 27. thursday.
nothing interesting. im up writing freakin papers for my freakin classes.
this morning i was planning on waking up at around 5:00-5:00-ish and catch the 6:10 shuttle the train. i had all my alarms set and everything and i went to be around 1ish. i woke up by myself without an alarm at 4am. whaaaa daaaa facck. if i went to bed at 12:30 i wouldn’t have been able to wake up to an alarm at 8:00….but 4am on my own? no biggy. i mean, good thing cause now i awake, but what the fack? weirdddddddd…but convenient
i have an audition tomorrow at 9:30am, and i want to get there at 7:30 since it’s for dancers sooooo basically my ass has to be up early.
we started run-thrus of company and its really going great! theres a facebook event now and everything
i auditioned for childrens theatre today, and since we couldnt find a space, the audition was held in the quad….while it was slightly raining…and there was mud everywhere….and we had to be animals and crawl on the ground. hahaha it was still super fun though.
i have to read “wayward puritans” for my sociology class, my “film art” book for intro to film, has essays done, reearsal logs done, yadda yadda yadda!
ides of march. beauty & the beast at my high school. crying. missing my old friends. water jug in my purse filled with vodka and juice. downed it when i got back to the dorm. wore a green long sleeve shirt and denim shorts over black tights and green fishnets for the o’bailey party. we arrive. within 20 minutes theres a cop scare and everyone under 21 peaces. we go towards breslin and conversed with a hilarious pub safe officer. go back to get my shit and stay there as the party restarts. get shwasty. get high. make out. repeat. peace at 4:30-ish. no sandwiches at dutch. lame. sleep. EPIC NIGHT. its about freakin time.
woke up to my phone ringing. ASM for company asking where i was. “i’m running a little late, sorry.” run to rehearsal, probably still smelling like vodka and cigarettes. sing. stay for 3 hours. come home and try to piece together the night. i have sooooooooo much shit to do. turbokick tonight. lets hope they’re are more good parties to come.
day 22 cause growing up is awfuller, than all the awful things that ever were
just got back from “I WON’T GROW UP” a little mini 15 minute show while people were eating dinner/dessert, for a conference about child studies (i think??) on campus. it was really cute, and everyone did a great job, especially since we put the whole thing together in literally 2 seconds.
today was freakin gorgeous! i wore this dress my mom got me from costco, its all blue and flowy! ugh i loooove this weather.
we continued watching the crucible in sociology today, and we were just getting to the intense part. shit was going down.
in speech we had to do choreography for speech to the henry V monologue (i did, as did almost everyone else in class, wrong the first time). i basically made up the movements on the spot (which we are not allowed to do), and i remembered to elongate the long vowels and such. after, she said that was i best ive sounded in a year in a half. i sounded more like a woman (i guess as opposed to a nasal little kid, which is my usual tone). of course, something i dont prepare i completely succeed in, but last time i actually planned the whole thing and it was wrong. but hey, she liked it, sweet.
intro to film was canceled again today. shweeeeeeeeeeeeet.
went to my a slept from 2-4:50.
now kristen and i are singing/listening to “come on, get higher”…god that song is sooo pretty.
i have rehearsal for company from 10-11. and hopefully afterwards ill get drunk, or see a movie, or both, or just both. either way, im down.
today was absolutely beautiful.
saw “kiss me kate.”
it was really good.
i learned today that you can totally not expect something you totally expected to happen.
people won’t change. and people move on.
things are meant to be, and you’re always better off.
what goes around comes around, you just have to be patient.
i can’t let people bring me down.
i need to think positive and have confidence or i will stay in the hole i dug myself into.
i need to believe that i am unstoppable and i can take the world by storm.
day 20 and we find ourselves in the same old mess, singing drunken lullabies
so immm a few hours late, but whatever.
today in sociology we started watching “the crucible,” which ive seen before and i totally love. but i was really starting to notice something….winona ryder is godddd awful. not talented. shes just stupid.
in my intro to film teacher was at a conference so a sub was there to turn on “ratatouie” and basically told us to turn the lights on when we leave…and he left the room. my class is in a lecture room with a giant pull-down screen in the front. i sit in the front row (it’s stadium/movie theater-eqsue seats, all chushion-y and such), and there was a normal plastic chair near my seat, so that was immediately a footrest. and just sitting there—not taking notes because i honestly couldnt care less—i fell asleep and took a realllly nice nap. i mean its all dark and i was tired and in a comfy position, why not?? then i got up and went downstairs and got a croissant and watched the rest of the movie. if only we could do that for every class.
IT WAS BAILEYS BIRTHDAY!!! so we went up to her room to get her and blindfold her and take her to the secret destination. she wasnt in her room, so we (michelle, tyler, and myself) decided to hide in the bathroom next to her door, planning to pop out when she came. but of course, bailey heard us talking and totally called us out. so we blindfolded her and like an elderly woman, we guided her to….HOOTERS! it was really great.
in rehearsal we actually did a mini run-through for the first few scenes….IM GETTING SUPER EXCITED!!! =D
its st pattys day, and we were going to continue the festivities at marias house after hooters, but i had rehearsal, which stinks because cabaret isnt that good when you’re sober
im still up working on my shakespeare paper on troilus & cressida. la dee freakin da
day 19 and another hundred people just got off of the train
just got back from rehearsal. i feel like im getting better. i just need to be confident in myself and just do it! i’m getting better, my acting skills are definitely starting to suck less.
today i actually woke up at a reasonable hour (even though i strongly attempted to go to bed before 2am, and failed, falling asleep around 3am), actually dressed like a human being today, and did NOT asleep in shakespeare today. which reminds me: i’m finally up to act 3 in troilus and cressida, about 25 more to go.
i was finally able to register today. but of course im still not 100% certain on my courses, but all in good time.
i feel like i have nothing to really talk about or rant about tonight. cool
today was my dance call back. i had to miss a class (which i wasnt too excited about, buttttt you gotta do what you gotta do) and by the grace of god, sociology was let out early, so lukcily i didnt have to awkwardly walk out 15 minutes before the class ended.
the dance call went okay. i miss dancing. i felt not as confident as i usually am when i danced today.
company rehearsal tonight, it was super fun, like always.
started reading chekhov’s “ivanov.” its not as scary as i thought it’d be. its actually a quick read, and so far i’m kinda enjoying it. who knew????
kristen and i are having this intense analytical conversation abou taylor swift and how her music makes us feel great and wholesome. theres some article about how her music puts down girls that aren’t as virginal as most girls? i dont know, people need to stop and get jobs and just let people make their friggin music.its expression. let the bich friggin express herself.
im starting to diet, and im planning on exercising more. im not fucking around this time.
im going to try to stay focused on my homework, and shows, etc.
since im stuck at the hof for the next two years, i decided that—even if i have to go out of my way to do so—i will make these the best two years of my life. i dont want to look back at my time here and remember the nights when i’d sit in my room and have absolutely nothing to do. even if i fail, i at least want to look back and say that i tried, and made the best of what i had. we’re here to fuck shit up =D
i’m just so tired of everything. im completely exhausted. the second i have a moment to sit, i have something else to do and i cant focus. i need to take a break from everything. im so sick of everything. im just not having it right now. i honestly dont feel happy today
ok. yesterday, saturday, i had an audition. i didnt wake up in time becuase we had the surprise krisnte/taylor event. i woke up a little after i meant to but i got to the audition pretty much on time. once i got there, they told me to sing at 5:16. a smart person wouldve stayed in the city. but no. i didnt. i wet back to hofstra and bought rainboots and threw on jeans (it was the freakin apocolypse yesterday), and started working on my discoglobve costume. as i waited for the shuttle to the train, it was literally death outside, and i almost didnt go, but i knew people probably bailed on the audition because of the weather, leaving less competition. so i sang “notice me, horton,” and they didnt say anything right away sp i turned around and one of the directors asked if i could dance, and i said YEAAA, and he asked if i wanted to come to the dance call on monday… YEA!!!!!!!!!!! so excited. except its monday at 1-2, theres a shuttle at 11:01 to the train station, and i get out of class at 11:05…dilemma! i have to figure this out. any suggestions?
thats all anyone needs to know.
lame lame lame. well no, there were some fun moments…..but overall, last year was wayyyyyyyyyyy better
didn’t go to sociology or intro to film today. i probably would’ve slept in later, but, even after the shit load of alarms that went off, the only thing that woke me up was the thought that i had to straighten my hair
michelle took kristen and i to go get fabric/clothes for our costumes and booze for discoglobe. sooo excited!!
we came back and i had a killer two hour nap, which was much needed, but really hard to get out of. i had rehearsal at 8, and i was planning on leaving at 7:40-ish….and i got up at 7:30. pretty good rehearsal, i sounded like hot diarrhea during my song though. i get so nervous for some reason, i cant control it. i can sing the song fine in my room by myself. its just something i have to get over…..AND i have to learn my lines my monday. i reaaaally dont have much at all, but i still need to get on that.
i need to read Checkhov’s Ivanov…..joy…..ill get on that.
we FINALLY throw the “Dance Your Braces Off/Taylor’s Birthday” extravaganza tonight (only a week and a half late). i walked to maria’s right after rehearsal, and left a few minutes after kristen and taylor got there. there was a slight situation causing kristen to be late, and me to feel totally anxious and uneasy. but all is good. hope all is even better tomorrow.
i left the party early cause i actually have an audition tomorrow morning (well…i guess…technically today?). i neeeeed to get off this island for the summer… keep your fingers crossed kiddies!!
i’m still up. i finished choreographing my speech project, just finished my laundry, got out of the shower, and am now gulping down some milk.
while showering, the usual couple that showers together, did whatever the fack they’re doing in the shower while i was in the adjacent shower. this is, i believe, the 4th night in a row. has it occured to them that they are in a residence hall…that has bedrooms…with beds????? why would you even want to use these showers more than you need to? they’re absolutely disgusting, and there are enough diseases in there as it is, thank you very much.
i have to work on more speech work. we have to draw a crossection of our head and label where our teeth, tongue, hard palate, soft palate, esophagus, trachea, epiglottis, vocal flods, sinuses, and alvelar ridge are in our head. then we had to draw another crossection of our head that has the correct labeling….and i plan on straightening my hair….and going over my choreography……sooooo estimated hours of sleep at this moment (3:43 am)= 2 hours.hazaaaaaaaaaaaaa
we have to choreograph/have movement for the words to the Henry V prologue. it has to be real movements, or a move we learned from a class or something. im eating doritos and drinking juice and jumping around my room like a crazy woman in just a sports bra. will i throw up? probably. stay tuned….
"Me and Bobby McGee" by Janis Joplin just came up on my shuffle
in between classes and just chilling in my room
last night i stopped by chels room, and we had this off in-depth decision about religion, spirits, angels, devil, exorcisms, and other intense shit. it was really interesting. then chels played nurse to ryan…which was both odd and amusing at the same time.
woke up at 9 for a 9:35 class, in which i leave at 9:15. it was shakespeare, so i totally would’ve sleeped in because we honesly don’t learn anything in that class, but we have our midterm next week….lameee
today in scene study, peter made chloe sing in front of the whole class….for no reason. i mean, yes, her character is a singer…but it was really random. hahhaah she has a great voice, but i felt so nervous for her, i probably would’ve cried
this post is not interesting at all….but im super bored
intro to film was cancelled today, which was totally rad
i finally had my advisement meeting today. looks like i may not have time to fulfill my musical theater minor next semester, so ill have to wait until next spring, or senior year =(
we had “Company” music rehearsal. the opening is allllmost there. but everyones amazing and awesome and we’re all having a great time. and we’re getting t-shirts!!!! hazaaaaa!!
since turbokick was cancelled for this entire week, feeling obese, i ran to the gym after rehearsal and just did the eliptical because i did not have the will power to do weights or ab stuff (also i’d like to go to bed at a normal time).
im really trying to eat better and cut out less shit, sugar, and caffeine so i can fix my seleeping habits, so i can get up at the actual time my alarm is set….its a work in progress.
right now im eating a salad from dutch treats: romain lettuce, chicken, feta cheese, corn, carrots, and walnuts. i have to read a crap-load of troilus & cressida and pray i dont have to show my scene tomorrow in class, cause lord knows i will not be in the mood….
just got back from rehearsal and sam choreographed “You Could Drive a Person Crazy.” it’s freakin freakin fab i tell you. it’s simply adorable and awesome. and we now all want cast t-shirts…lets get on that…..
day 12 you don't have to read this, its just to vent
i’ve been feeling sooo weird for the past few days!
its definitely not pms, i just feel so out of place.
i know that if you feel a weird feeling when running a show, it’s information about your character, but i honestly havent done any outside work on Marta in Company. i mean, we ran the 2 scenes she was in, but i havent like legit sat down and thought about her. well…mybe i did, but i guess i didnt realize it.
i feel like i just dont have the energy to be myself or do anything (i felt this way during the summer, as well). its not so much like a lazy day, its just i feel like i wanna just go home and sleep and never wake up, and never do work or interact or anything.
but how one earth could this have anything to do with Marta? Alex has mentioned that she is sort of odd and weird. maybe Marta feels like an outcast. Marta explains how she goes up to random strangers and meets them, how everyone is her closest friend. maybe she does that to hide the fact that she feels (or used to feel) closed off and isolated inside. perhaps she isn’t a complete fireball of energy either, maybe shes more laid back than i originally perceived her to be. shes misunderstood, too, but she knows it and accepts it. or maybe shes insecure about the fact that she is so misunderstood, and is just starting to accept her uniqueness, which is the real reason she came to new york. this is how she felt back home, she was misunderstood, and that kind of isolated her. thats why she came to new york: “to be with the me’s of this world…i am like the soul of new york.” she is eccentric and slightly odd, but she is who she is and she has come to accept it and love it.
shmehhhhhh!!!!!!! i still have a damn hold on my account….damn damn damn
just watched “the orphan” with kristen. that shit was crazy! CRAZY!!!
we were thinking of what kristen could be for Discoglobe, and we realized that the only Latino characters ever on Nickelodeon are Dora the Explorer (which is technically Nick Jr.), Taina, and Maria from 2 Hey Arnold episodes….wh aren’t there more hispanic characters on nickelodeon…..thats awkward…and just weird
rehearsal tonight…so excited!!!!
maybe ill actually get my homework done tonight during rehearsal so i dont go to bed at the ass-crack of dawn…..
not that good. dont pay that much to see it in 3-D. wait until someone has the DVD or you can watch it illegally on the internet. the alice sucked, some of the graphics sucked, and some of the lines sucked. i went into the theater knowing i wouldn’t like it, i accepted it and moved on. but near the end i thought, this really isnt that bad, but then the mad hatter broke out into this random ass dance that made me very uncomfortable…and that just ruined it for me. then the actually ending sucked.
so basically…….just watch the middle parts, and imagine the rest, thats the way it should be anyway…..
Vomit-free! although rehearsing while being both nauseous and PMSing is nver a grand feeling, we did an awesome job today! i’m desperately trying to get stuff done but its not working. i have a lot of reading to catch up on, and one assignment thats due tomorrow is a poem for speech class, but it can only include, diphthongs (hey, boy, ow), triphthongs (hire, our), and long voweled words (boo, pee). HARD AS HELL!!!
holds on my account, so now i cannot register until i get the fixed. thanks financial aid, suck my ass
i had rehearsal from 1-4…but it ended at 3 hazaaaa
im making a lot o fspelling errors and i keep fixing them! mehhh!!!
we went to bioncas tonight for kings! i drank and i was merry..now im in my dorm desperartely trying to not throw up hahhaha….im chewing gum, in an atempt to ifx up my stomcahe, and right no wi i feel fine
kirsten is sleeping nad im trying not ot wake her up cause that shit aint right
im kinda sleepy…but im hugry, but nor hngry at the same time…theres some CPK right next to me..but even the semll is making me nauseous